1) My children have out-poohed themselves. It’s midday and I’ve changed no less than 7 pooey nappies. I’m fearful of what the toddler might have been eating behind my back (and feeding to his sister…)
2) I rewarded the toddler for telling me he was about to do a poo with a biscuit. This is a big deal in our household, we’ve been encouraging him to do this for months and he’s just now starting to. He still refuses to sit on the potty though. Not sure what I’ll have to bribe him with to get him to do that.
3) I used the f word in front of the toddler. The fucking fox had torn through 4 of the bin bags and I had to re-bag week old nappies, tea bags and a whole host of other crap. FML.
4) I turned a blind eye to the toddler shovelling compost from a bag he’d split open into his watering can. With his bare hands. Compost. Everywhere. But he was quiet and I was making dinner.
5) I managed not to vomit when I found a tiny little slug in the toddlers bed. Yes a slug. I was just tucking him in for his nap and the little bastard (slug not child) was sat on the top of his duvet. Barf. I’m guessing it attached itself to him when he was playing in the garden.
6) The mess the toddler managed to make in the dining room during the 5 minutes I was bathing the baby made me want to weep. Please tell me at some point they learn to tidy up after themselves? (Judging by Mr DM I’m pretty sure I know the answer to this).